Avast, me hearties! Today be the day when Ol' Chumbucket and Cap'n Slappy order ye to abandon yer landlubbin' ways and engage in some pirate talk. So unless ye want to find yerself at the captain's mercy or at the end of a plank, get yerself a glass of grog, strap on yer ol' peg leg and welcome aboard International Talk Like a Pirate Day 2008! Arrr!
According to the International Talk like a Pirate Day Web site, the celebration originated 13 years ago after "Pirate Guys" John "Ol' Chumbucket" Baur and Mark "Cap'n Slappy" Summers were playing racquetball and for no apparent reason at all, suddenly started insulting each other in pirate slang. The two friends then decided, again for no apparent reason at all, that an entire day should be dedicated to speaking in pirate jargon, and chose Sept. 19 for Summers' ex-wife's birthday.
"International Talk Like a Pirate Day is the only holiday on the calendar that encourages people to babble like buccaneers for the sheer, anarchic fun of it," the official Pirate Day press release said.
But the popularity of the pirate-themed holiday didn't really catch on until former Miami Herald columnist and funny man Dave Barry whole-heartedly endorsed the holiday in his column "Arrrrr! Talk like a pirate - or prepare to be boarded."
"… As you can see, talking like a pirate will infuse your everyday conversations with romance and danger," Barry wrote in his September 2002 column. "So join the movement!"
Since Barry's column, International Talk Like a Pirate Day has become an international sensation, and people all around the world are joining in on the fun, particularly those who already talk like a pirate every day of the year, like local pirate rap band Captain Dan and the Scurvy Crew.
"Yarrr, Pirate Day be one of me favorite days of the year," Captain Dan wrote in an e-mail interview. "I think it be a great thing for real pirates to unite! Not only that, but ninjas seldom come out on ITLAPD, and I hate [ninjas]. For that reason alone, I think it is my favorite holiday!"
Unlike Captain Dan and his Scurvy Crew, however, most UCF students are unsure of how to go about pillaging, plundering and pirate talking on Pirate Day.
Captain Dan recommends sticking to the basics of pirate talk - yar, avast, shiver me timbers and walk the plank - all in bad grammar of course.
Katherine Breunig, a senior business major, has already planned her attack for Pirate Day. Breunig said she's celebrating the holiday because she has always admired the pirate way of life, particularly the sailing, drinking and searching for gold.
"[Today] I'm going to drink lots and lots of Captain Morgan," Breunig said. "And I'm going to tell everyone to call me Captain Kitty Kat, too. Arrr!"
In case you really want to jump on board for the holiday, Cap'n Slappy and Ol' Chumbucket have already made a lot easier for you. There's a convenient list of pirate words and phrases on their Web site, along with a two-minute YouTube instructional video on how to talk like a pirate, and best of all, a list of the Top 10 best pirate pickup lines.
By visiting their Web site you'll also learn all kinds of important things like that you should never say "Arrrgh!" instead of "Arrr" because "'Arrrgh!' is the sound one makes when one sits on a belayin' pin and no pirate would intentionally do that."
In case you are still lost at sea on how to talk like a pirate, allow me to demonstrate for you.
Let's say you forgot to turn in your English paper that was due today. Well, instead of your professor saying this to you: "Listen young lady. Turn in your paper right away or I'll have to fail you," your professor will instead say: "Avast, me buxom beauty! Turn in yar scroll smartly me lass, or it'll be down to the Davy Jones locker with ye!"?
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