 "Photo: Courtesy Cliff Hodges")
About 7 percent of college students have already tied the knot, according to the 2003 U.S. Census Bureau. That would mean about 3,500 of UCF’s 50,275 students are married.
For better or worse, in college or not, several of UCF’s married, engaged or soon-to-be-engaged students shared their ups and downs about the road marriage can take.
If things ever get tough, Harry Weger, a professor in the Nicholson School of Communication, teaches several classes including topics such as family communication and interpersonal communication. Weger advises couples not to be afraid of counseling.
“If you’re having problems, there is absolutely no shame in going to someone to help you figure out how you can talk to each other,” Weger said.
Weger highly recommends UCF’s Counseling Center, which offers students free premarital and marriage counseling and a variety of other services. Weger is also developing a marital communication class.
ANONYMOUS SOURCE
One student, 20, has a proposal in the works for his girlfriend of more than two years.
She is studying abroad and doesn’t know about his plan.
They met freshman year in swing dancing club and got together the following semester.
“She actually rejected me the first time I asked her out, but I kept pursuing her,” he said.
The student knew he wanted to propose after about a year of dating.
“I’m going to make it a whole day, very extravagant,” he said. “At the same time it will be just us, intimate as well.”
He said he is willing to get engaged during school because of the day when his girlfriend would like to get married.
“She wants to get married on 11-11-11, so she set that deadline for me,” he said. “She said she needs a year to plan. She likes the superstition that if you make a wish at 11:11, it will come true.”
While he said it will be hard being engaged and in school, he thinks it is worth it because it would make her happy.
“I know I want to marry her, and she knows that,” he said.
After their wedding, the couple plans to move to Texas for graduate school.
GINA AND TJ HARRIS
Gina, a nursing major graduating in 2011, and TJ, a member of the National Guard, have been together four years. Both are 21, and have been married one year — the majority of which TJ has spent serving in Afghanistan.
Gina said that being a married student is challenging. She is retaking a class she didn’t do well in while planning her wedding.
“It was really tough at the beginning,” Gina said. “It does get in the way of school, but once you get through that part, then it’s OK. Now you’re living life.”
She said it would be easier if her husband could be here now.
“I think it helps if you have the other person with you. I say all the time it feels like I’m doing it by myself,” Gina said.
She said it is hard on TJ and that he wishes he could be here to help, but she said that the experience has made them closer to family and each other.
Gina gives this advice to students planning to marry soon: “Keep close to your parents.”
She said her mom has been a very big help.
TJ returns from Afghanistan in one month. The couple then plans to take the honeymoon they never had.
KATIE AND NATHAN WARD
The Wards have been together for four years, and became parents 2 1/2 years ago.
Nathan, 31, works full time and Katie, 24, graduates in 2011.
They were married in November 2008, while Katie was in school.
She said she had her heart set on a fall wedding so the timing seemed right.
“I couldn’t imagine it any other way,” Katie said.
Their relationship changed gradually, beginning with their daughter, Julia.
“Everything changed the moment our daughter was born,” Katie said. “It’s kind of magical.
“At first it feels strange. You get used to the new routine and the fact that it’s not just a twosome anymore.”
Nathan said that the new routine a child brings is the hard part and that being married is easy.
When it comes to schoolwork, Nathan said he is always helping Katie with something and calls himself a “proofreader.”
“She’s a smart girl,” Nathan said. “[School] is the least of our worries.”
Nathan offers this advice to other young couples: “Support each other and differentiate your relationships.”
Katie said that the best advice she received was to keep a routine and stick to it.
When Katie graduates, she will start teaching, and Nathan will go back to school.
CAILIN JONES AND ALEX SMITH
Cailin, a radio-television major and Alex, a film major at FSU, will graduate in December and marry in January. Both 21, they’ve been long-distance for the majority of their three-year relationship.
Cailin felt the effects immediately after the engagement.
“Before last semester ended, he proposed, and there was still a month and a half left of school,” Cailin said. “So I didn’t even want to think about school after that.
“I was like, ‘Let’s go looking for dresses, let’s go do this, let’s go do that. That sounds a lot more interesting than schoolwork right now.’ So it definitely affected my performance last semester.”
Now, priorities have changed.
“I have a million things going on right now, and I haven’t done very much planning at all,” she said. “I’m finishing up my degree online … so time for planning is scarce.”
Cailin moved home to Jacksonville to be near family. She is also bartending five nights a week.
Overall, Cailin said this process strengthened their relationship.
“There was an end in sight to this long-distance, but now our end in sight comes with a white dress and wedding bells,” she said.
They plan to pursue their careers in Los Angeles.
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