Keep your pride intact; there’s no shame in being a virgin
Published: Wednesday, June 29, 2011
Updated: Wednesday, June 29, 2011 17:06
I watch shows like Sex and The City and Two and a Half Men as much as anybody. I enjoy and am actually amused by the sexual escapades of the characters on these shows. Some, however, may be left with a burning question: Am I missing out?
With everyone else taking frequent trips to the candy shop, some abstinent folks may feel left in the lurch.
Most religions clearly state that premarital sex is a no-no and go to great lengths to ensure that there is no sexual congress between people. This could ultimately lead some to feel conflicted or suffer punishment in seeing everyone else around them being promiscuous while they stick to their vow of celibacy.
Some might even fear ending up like the character in the movie The 40-Year-Old Virgin, making clumsy mistakes and even getting makeovers and such to finally achieve their long-sought-after mission.
It seems to me, however, that being abstinent is nothing to be ashamed of. No one is losing anything by waiting, despite what the pressures of society may be. The value of sex goes down with every subsequent mate, until one can get to the point where sex becomes of little to no importance. By waiting, one will undoubtedly value the experience that much more when it actually happens. It will also be memorable and special, carrying sentimental value.
Those who do not wait, however, may not have the same experience. Their first time might have been in an elevator or in the backseat of a car with some person who they only knew for a few hours and never saw again. They might remember the time and smile about it, or even find it hilarious. It will, however, probably never be as special as it was for the person that was abstinent until marriage.
This is not a judgment on anyone's sexual decisions. We live in a free society, and everyone can make their own choices as long as they don't break any laws. There's nothing wrong, however, with believing in that old-fashioned fairy tale. Saving yourself for the woman or man with whom you have a house, dog and white-picket fence is perfectly acceptable.
No one should feel as if they are missing out on something by saving themselves for marriage. You also shouldn't feel that once you are in a committed relationship in today's day and age, sex must inevitably follow. I once had a friend who told me that if he dated a woman and didn't make it to the promised land within two weeks, that he would break it off with her. I find this point of view to be very shallow and narrow-minded.
If you are saving yourself for marriage, and the person you're dating is not cool with that fact, then you shouldn't be with them. Wait for the special someone that is willing to wait right along with you, and don't let your friends think that you're somehow less cool because you're not having the same sex that they're having.
Abstinence is a perfectly acceptable choice, and one that nobody should be ashamed of. Although society may change through the years, that doesn't necessarily mean that you need to change right along with it. If you happen to bear the title of "virgin," wear it as a badge of honor rather than the scarlet letter that some make it out to be. You will be just fine.