It's been 239 days since the last UCF football game, Knights fans. And I don't know about you guys, but that is far too long a wait for some of us tailgaters. The tents, the cornhole, the hot dogs, the koozies — ahh such sweet memories.
Never fear, though, football is back this Saturday, right?
One problem. Kick off is at uhhh… 8:30 a.m.
Wait. Do people actually function at 8:30 a.m.?
I don't know about you guys, but I haven't seen a sunrise in a decade.
But you're in college! College students don't sleep!
Make the most of this early game, and get started well ahead of time, perhaps 12 hours ahead of time.
If you can pull an all-nighter for that statistics test, what's to say you can't pull an all-nighter to root on the black and gold?
Let the 12-hour tailgate commence! Here's your schedule:
*Begin after class on Friday and take a nap.
We recommend the hours of 4p.m. to 8:30p.m. so you can avoid driving on Alafaya during the torture that is rush hour traffic.
*When you wake up, bust out the potatoes because it's dinner time and you need to get in the Irish spirit.
Check out our recipe for Easy Shepherd's pie on page 23 and get to cooking, Betty Crocker.
Dinner should only take you a few minutes, so in the meantime, get Netflix set up and find an Irish movie.
I'd recommend the Disney channel classic The Luck of the Irish, but apparently that's too A-list for Netflix. Try out Far and Away or the 1993 creepy horror flick, Leprechaun.
Whatever you do, do not watch P.S. I Love You because nobody needs to be crying before the season opener. (We will leave it up to you to turn these movies into drinking games, if you so please).
*By midnight, you're going to need a snack. We hope you have Lucky Charms on hand because there is just no other acceptable pre-game nighttime nibble.
If not, the Wal-Mart Neighborhood Market near campus is open 24-hours.
Here, you can get the goods and spot some very interesting characters who roam the aisles in the middle of the night.
*So now it's probably 1 a.m. You're going to want to stay busy and alert. Bust out the Red Bull, grab your buds and start the competition. We recommend you try Uno, but here's how to make Uno awesome.
Take a Sharpie and have your friends write dares or dumb things on random Uno cards (another area you can also choose to incorporate drinking, if you so choose).
When someone plays one of the Uno cards, the person after them has to do whatever the card says. Trust me, this will make for at least an hour or two of hilarity.
*We're approaching the 3 a.m. mark. Now you're going to need to watch late night infomercials. Sorry, it's mandatory.
*At 4 a.m. you're in the home stretch! You can a) choose to take a 2-hour nap or b) bake a green cake ... because why not?
*Improvise until 7 a.m. At 7:30, start getting breakfast together. Break out the eggs, the coffee, the Irish cream (the whiskey, perhaps) and get to frying. You want to have breakfast ready to go by kickoff.
*8:30 a.m. YOU KNOW WHAT TO DO. Blast Zombie Nation, wake up your neighbors and wait until THAT'S GOOD ENOUGH FOR ANOTHER UCF FIRST DOWN.