We're gonna do it in front of all of our friends.
It'll be October. Red, orange and yellow leaves will litter the ground. We'll exchange rings in a small, lighthearted ceremony. My yellow Labrador retriever, Suzy, will be the ring bearer.
One of these days, I'll have a wedding like that, law permitting.
Now, right-wing fundamentalists have formed entire political platforms around the idea of same-sex marriage, but in a surprising twist, I have even met some members of my own community who find the idea of gay marriage repulsive.
I'm all for not subjecting yourself to stupid rituals you find asinine. I mean, I can't even remember the last time I went to a Super Bowl party. But do I think no one should be allowed to enjoy a Super Bowl party? No.
Sure, they're not my cup of tea, but if that's your thing, then go for it.
That's the logic here. If you don't want get married, that's all fine and dandy. Don't get married. But just because you are either morally or personally averse to marriage doesn't mean that I shouldn't be allowed to get married. To put it in layman's terms, you're being selfish. You're using the marriage equality arena to spout your views against marriage as an institution in and of itself.
Now, I've met people who refuse to accept gay marriage for a variety of reasons. Some find the ceremony or the act itself too heteronormative for their liking, some find the idea of needing a ceremony to prove love for someone asinine and others — whom I find particularly repulsive — have a religious aversion to gay marriage, despite they themselves being gay.
If you don't want to get married, then don't, but don't stand in the way of my special day. Standing between a gay and a wildly expensive party where people are morally required to both pay direct attention to him or her and shower him or her with gifts is a big mistake.
Benedict Arnold has nothing on those rainbow traitors. For an LGBT individual to legitimately fight against equality is a betrayal. We already have millions of people who would rather see us dead than simply happy, and for a member of our own community to rally against us in this decade-spanning fight is nothing short of ridiculous, offensive and just plain stupid.
Don't get married — see if I care. But don't you dare get in the way of my happiness, especially if that means you're stabbing your LGBT brothers and sisters in the back.