There is no absolute reason for cheating
Published: Wednesday, May 18, 2011
Updated: Wednesday, May 18, 2011 18:05
Lack of attention, lack of a sex life or lack of affection – these can all lead to infidelity, with no two situations quite similar.
A study being released by Psychological Science argues that men are more likely to cheat than women due to their "powerful" statuses. Hence, it is not the gender role that plays a part in cheating but rather the traits of power and confidence, which the article suggests men possess more of than women.
I disagree with Psychological Science. Women are just as likely to cheat as men. A 2008 study conducted by marriage counselor M. Gary Neuman paints a grim picture, estimating that one in 2.7 men will cheat. The study was also referenced in an article the same year on CNN's website.
Men are not the only culprits though. An estimated 54 percent of women admitted to cheating as well, according to Infidelityfacts.com. I think Psychological Science forgot to look at the people behind their cheating facades. What was going on behind closed doors?
They were too busy trying to put an answer to an unsolvable problem. There is no solution to cheating. There is no one trait that an adulterer carries. People are just humans. They make mistakes. It could be a one-time slip, or it could be they found the right person at the wrong time.
According to Neuman's study, 92 percent of men said the number one reason for cheating was not primarily about sex.
"The majority said it was an emotional disconnection, specifically a sense of feeling underappreciated, a lack of thoughtful gestures," Neuman said.
This makes much more sense to me. Why would people want to go out and ruin their marriages if there was no reason to? Sadly, 53 percent of marriages in America end up in divorce these days, according to Infidelityfacts.com.
Maybe I want to hope there is another reason behind the high divorce rates besides men just trying to make themselves feel more powerful.
I know you are probably wondering if I have watched the news and heard about Jesse James or Tiger Woods. Unfortunately, I have. Yes, I think these men are pigs. I also think these are extreme cases.
Jesse James is the perfect example of why being powerful has nothing to do with cheating on your spouse. He married the gorgeous Sandra Bullock, who won various awards and who many would think is very powerful. James still cheated on her though, with many less prestigious and less attractive women, to say the least. Why did James commit adultery then? I do not know.
I will say I have watched my own friends, specifically one, be cheated on for a couple of years now. She is absolutely beautiful, has everything going for her and could have any guy she wants. Therefore, why does she stand for this?
I do not know what goes on in their relationship behind closed doors, but it begs the question, "Is he cheating because he knows he can?"
Relationships – they're complicated, like people. There is no one diagnosis for infidelity. If there was, half of America would not end up in divorce court.