UCF institute hosts free marriage workshop

As Valentine's Day approaches and people seek out chocolates, flowers, and cards for their significant others, some couples are seeking to rekindle their relationship by learning effective communication skills.

UCF recently offered such couples an opportunity.

On Feb. 5, UCF's Marriage and Family Research Institute held a free marriage workshop for married couples with at least one child up to 17 years old living at home.

The workshop was held at the Teaching Academy, and 36 couples learned techniques on expressing negative feelings, listening skills and resolving conflict.

"I've taught different formats and this is the first time that we've done the big one day workshop; there was a lot of material to cover," said Marisol Tobey, a UCF graduate and one of the four facilitators at the workshop. "The feedback was very positive and everything flowed well, so I think it went really well."

During the workshop, the couples practiced techniques in breakout sessions, learning to how to recognize coping styles, communicate their needs, become better listeners and express love and appreciation. Free child care and lunch was also provided for the registered couples.

"They gave us some really good tools as far as when to step back when you're not able to relate your message or resolve the situation at the moment. We learned how to withdrawal from the situation and come back once you've cooled down," said Gloria Gonzalez, an Orlando local who has been with her husband, Luis, for seven years.

"I absolutely loved it. We have five girls at home, so it gave us a day of just him and me to focus on marriage and a couple's relationship."

Unlike marriage counseling, the workshop allowed couples to share as much or as little information as they wanted in a group setting and had them fill out questionnaires before and after the session.

"It's always good to have someone professional in the field tell you that you're doing the right thing or that there is something you should or shouldn't do," Gonzalez said. "I suggest that they also do it for people who are going to get married."

The workshop was part of the Office of Family Assistance Together Project, a UCF study that aims to bring marriage education to low-income married couples with children and collect data using questionnaires.

The project is led by Associate Professor Andrew Daire of UCF's College of Education and funded by a grant under the Healthy Marriage Initiative from the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services' OFA.

"The whole scope of the Healthy Marriage Initiative is to strengthen the environment that children are being raised in," said Daire, who is also the Executive Director of the UCF Marriage and Family Research Institute. "Research shows that children who are raised in a happy, healthy and nurturing environment have better outcomes."

The skills that couples are learning in the workshop can be applied to their relationship with each other as well as their relationship with their children in the long run, Daire said.

"What we wanted from this workshop were tools to help our marriage last longer. Marriages don't last as long as they used to," said Rafael Tejeda, a resident of Winter Springs who has been with his wife, Aliya, for about five years. "We have two children, so it's important for us to stay together."

The OFA Together Project was scheduled to end in September of 2011, but has been approved funding by the federal government for another year of service. The OFA Together Project, combined with the Supporting Healthy Marriages Together Project that started in the same year, has reached out to a total of about 550 couples.

"As humans, we have a biological need for bonding. That bonding need is met through relationships," Daire said. "That underscores how important the work is that we're doing. The foundation of everything is relationships."

The UCF Marriage and Family Research Institute currently has other grants that are under review and also offers internship opportunities, an undergraduate research assistant program and free counseling to the community.

Those who are interested in these opportunities can contact the Institute at 407-823-1748 or online at www.mfri.-ucf.edu.